I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
There's a naked man in my car right now.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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