Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
