Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
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