I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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