this beer tastes like vomit already
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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