we're blogging at a bar
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
