She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
