i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
