This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
