sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
