Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
