ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
