How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
