i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I accidentally had phone sex last night
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize