Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
