I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
