very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
