you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
