Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize