Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
