Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Life without a bra equals bliss.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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