we have pet lesbian snakes
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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