Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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