The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
one two three fourrrrnication!
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
