Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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