You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
