So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Randomize
