White coat. Heels.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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