Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
