I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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