I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
