is your mom at the bar?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
