I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
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