I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
