we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
