I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
