He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
