I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
