why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
