Where are you?
In a non slutty way
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Randomize
