hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
