someone get that fucking seahorse.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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