I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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