nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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