If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
