he thought i was a dude.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
