on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Randomize
