with your own penis?
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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