Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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