.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
