he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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