go do what you do best...puke behind churches
...so i touched it.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
You made out with two different species that night
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
