There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
