I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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