You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
