is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
