you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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