remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
