was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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