I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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