i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
smell my finger.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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