After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
