i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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