haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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