I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize