some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize