Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize